Description of my Current Emotion

Imagine lying on an emormous plateau and the sky is so blue it appears white. The weather is so warm, but there are no droplets of sweat rolling down your forehead. There is nothing in particular you really want to do, but lethargy is the emotion furthest from what you are feeling. You feel alive, alert, and almost invincible. You could jump off the cliff only to float down and land peacefully on your feet.

If any one else was present on the plateau, this feeling would instantly dissolve.

You feel very plain, almost 2-D. You can play in the dirt but it doesn't get you dirty. It's almost like a circus with no tents, clowns, canons, fireworks, candy, fire-breathers, or tight rope walkers. The music is raging in your head, but not in an angry way. The music is 2-D as well.

Everything is heart warming in the most independent way possible. It's not a Christmas time heart warming. It's a barren heart warming. The feeling you acquire when you realize you're tired of having people in general in your life.

Breathe in the dirt. Don't be afraid.

Stand at the edge of the plateau because there is no wind. Even if you fell it would be okay because the burnt orange surroundings will help you slide down. Scratches and bruises are nonexistant. Kick a rock over and count how many seconds until it hits the ground.

This isn't boredom, this is fusion to the surroundings.

The 2-D music comes back as if it is being played by a loudspeaker all over the desert. The sound waves become visible, so stop swimming in the dirt and watch the vibrations bounce off the clouds because they are imminently going to come and rustle your hair. When it does, time is going to slow down, as is the heat. You'll be able to slice the air open!

It's happening! Get out your safety scissors!

Jab your scissors into the air and cut a little slit. The air is kind of hard to push open, it sort of feels like a rubber and gelatin mix. Everything seems to be melting. Oooh you wonder what happens when you stick your head through the curtain of air. Poke through! First the tip of your nose. Take a whiff. Smells like... heat, the same as the side containing the rest of your body. Stick your tongue out now and taste the thick atmosphere on the other side. Tastes like... heat. Alright, muster up the courage to peek in.

Holy shit! It's a real Circus!

You don't know if you want to handle all of that. You were in such a comfortable place on your vast plateau. Sit in the dirt and think about it. Get up and tuck your scissors in your pants for safe keeping, and burst through the rip in the air. A seven and a half foot tall clown hands you a box and assists you in manuvering a sloppy cartwheel. That was weird and uncomfortable.

Maybe you should come back to the Circus another day. Now return to your oven of populous solitude and busy yourself with playing in the dirt again!