Nostalgia

Definition: Bittersweet longing.

Where does it come into play?

I finally recognized it as my root emotion for the past six months. Actually, probably a lot longer than that.

But anyway, all of my other futile attempts to identify this emotion have failed miserably.

What am I nostalgic for?
For a change? For a chance to prove to you who I am? For a chance for you to prove to me that life is worth living?

Who are you?

I don't know you yet. I don't know if I'll know you in this life time. But I know I'll know you. I've felt you before. In those sublime moments, that are actually happening increasingly, where I can actually feel you entering my heart, and searching for me. Searching for where I might possibly be. I know you feel the same. I know you feel it.

It's almost as if, when I feel you in my soul, I feel iridescent. I'm not entirely sure how one can feel iridescent, but it is the first word that pops into my scrambled thoughts if I was to be asked what emotion I feel when you're there.

Damnit, I still don't know who you are.

We'll cross our paths. Even if it does happen to be atop a mountain, our heads in the clouds, the grass so fresh the scent settles in your mouth, the daisies so happy they are jumping up and down, and our minds so impregnated with light, knowledge, and happiness, the rays and auras we emit are just as beautiful through the clouds as the sun is.

Let's ascend the mountain.